2006-04-11T17:03:00.000-07:00

TRYING TO MAKE MYSELF LIKE BASEBALL

Baseball is boring. It moves too slow and there should be a clock for the pitcher. They play a million games a year so the first half of the season doesn't even count. But because they play so many games it's on ALL THE TIME. So I figured that if I were a fan I'd always have something to watch. So I watched the Phillies beat the Dodgers on Sunday. The game had it's moments and had an exciting finish but other than that, boring. I feel like I was spending most of the game waiting for something to happen. It got so slow at one point that the commentators started discussing how many sunflower seeds one of the players in the dugout was eating, and this was a close game, I can't imagine sitting through a blowout. Oh well I'll watch a few more games and see if it grows on me.

2006-03-27T13:49:00.000-08:00

GO SEE V FOR VENDETTA

I'm telling everyone who will listen to drop whatever they are doing and go see this movie right now. I might even go see it again. This movie serves as a reminder that we have a responsibilty to make sure our government doesn't turn into the type of regime depicted in this film and that we must not allow ourselves to be ruled by fear. For a review check out my friend's blog:
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=5462390&blogID=100670916&indicate=1

2006-03-09T16:40:00.000-08:00

Black. White. (That Show Produced by Ice Cube)

This show definately presents an interesting social experiment. But I feel that the experiment is tainted by the presence of cameras. The people in the stores know that they are being recorded and I can't imagine them doing or saying anything blatantly racist. Anytime something racist actually does happen (the patron at the bar, the white guy in the focus group) I can't help but think that the director planted someone in the scene and said, "Say something racist, we need something to talk about." If there were someway that they could do this with hidden cameras and not have to inform people that they are being recorded (which they do, for legal purposes) this would be a much more authentic experience and I wouldn't question it so much.

I also can't help but think that the black adults know that they are on national TV and don't want to come across to the rest of black America as toms so they act in a way that they think other black people expect them to act. For example looking for racism everywhere and acting all shocked everytime someone does something nice for them while they're in white face, as if people are NEVER nice to them when they are black (I'm black, by the way, so I don't want anyone trying to tell me that I don't know what it's like to be black or experience racism).

I think that the two white adults mean well but they've come into this with their own preconceptions and they don't seem like they think they have anything to learn. It's more of an opportunity for them to show the world that they aren't racist or that racism doesn't exist. "My parents were in the civil rights movement", etc.

The only people I feel I'm getting a genuine reaction from are the two kids. I especially like Rose. She seems to be the only one who actually gets the point of all this. But I'm afraid for her because she is too nice and naieve and I don't want to see her get her feelings hurt and change for the worse. The promo for the upcoming episode when she reveals to her friends in the poetry group that she is actually white doesn't look promising. I'll keep watching for now. The show is interesting if nothing else.

Side notes:-Hugo seems to be in a contest with himself to see how many times he can get away with saying nigger to black people.
-Does anyone else notice that the black dad looks like Dave Chapelle when he plays the white guy on his show? "Would ya cut the malarchy!?"
-The black son looks like a scary Micheal Jackson.

Comment, discuss, ignore, whatever.

2006-03-07T14:57:00.000-08:00

BLACK GUILT

Whats up world,

The funny thing about blogs is, it's really just me talking about whatever random thing happens to be on my mind on a particular day. I have no idea who is reading this or who would want to read it. But they seem to be really popular right now so they must have some appeal. Plus I don't have anything better to do right now so I figured I'd start a blog. For my first post I'm going to piggy back off of someone else's blog. A friend of mines, who is the topic of discussion in the conversation, sent it to me via email and I thought the conversation was interesting so here it is:
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I'm going to show you guys a little conversation a friend of mine had this morning. He's always identified as black to me, his mother is part-italian so she's "mixed." I use that term in quotes because an individual can identify as whatever he/she pleases but in American society, you're treated as whatever you're perceived as. Thus, this mother of my friend can call herself all she wants, Tiger Woods can flash his saber-tooth tiger teeth and call himself all he wants, Mariah Carey can simply call herself a "Human Being", but Halle Berry who has a white mother, despite her apparent insanity knows what's up: when a mixed person of African descent walks in the room, they are perceived as colored, Negro, black, other and treated as such. But I digress, that's actually only a small part of my post today. Just check out this little revelation my friend (who asked that his name not be used) had to tell me about dating, sex and his racial preferences....

AIM IM with Qxxxx.10:47 AM
Qxxxx: i jus dont get along well with black women
Qxxxx: nor am i generally attracted to them
Qxxxx: and this is gonna sound bad
Qxxxx: but i only really like mixed black women - i think its cuz of my mom - i kno - goa head - rip me anew asshole
linda8200 (me): that's fucked up and essentially self-hatred
Qxxxx: i dont hate bein black
Qxxxx: i love being a black man
Qxxxx: but how can it be pure self hate when 1) im a man 2) im of mixed background -- which i usually deny but in this case is consistent with my preference for mixed women
linda8200: all of a sudden you're mixed
Qxxxx: first off - im mixed because i am - the self hate comes from being mixed - not black - i brought that point up to make my argument using the facts
Qxxxx: secondly, not liking black women does not equate to liking white women
Qxxxx: they too, are unattractive in their own way
Qxxxx: but ill fuck one- just like id fuck a black chick
Qxxxx: i wouldnt necessarily choose a white woman over a black woman
Qxxxx: but its not just a physical thing
Qxxxx: most black women - their attitudes -- arent appealing to me
Qxxxx: in fact thats the majority of it
linda8200: ok
linda8200: i cant even respond bc its not on a level i can even consider
Qxxxx: you cant consider it?
Qxxxx: um you dated a white man
linda8200: i dated a white man bc thats who i fell in love with, i never ruled out black men and in fact admitted to missing them while with mike
linda8200: i cant understand ruling out an entire race of people
Qxxxx: well im open to anything - with a woman - but its highly unlikely ill find what i want from a black woman
Qxxxx: they just dont offer me what i need
Qxxxx: (go ahead and insult me here)
linda8200: i dont rule out anyone seriously and especially not my own - so no i cant consider ur level of discrimination
Qxxxx: im not totally ruling them out
Qxxxx: im jus saying im not into them
Qxxxx: they don't appeal to me
linda8200: ok
Qxxxx: generally sepaking
Qxxxx: theres a difference

I found myself getting very heated by this conversation - possibly because he's talking about his lack of attraction to black women to my black female ass - but then just cooled down mostly because I really do find his points simply ridiculous. And when I showed this conversation to a few of my friends, most did as well. But as we discussed it more in length, one female friend of mine directed this topic to how so many black men feel just as this guy does and don't pursue or date black women. Another male friend of mine said that while he couldn't defend the blatant self-hatred aspect of this diatribe (he called it "obscene" which I think is pretty apt), he admitted that for him and his friends, the problem seems to be a lack of opportunity to find, pursue and be with black women. Now in my and most of my female friends' experience, the opposite has been true: there are many successful black women and a dearth of comparably successful black men. In my fast-paced dating experience where I did date a number of Wall Street buppies, I found that being aware of their rare status made them less likely to seriously pursue a black relationship and rather whore it out with their white female colleagues. And even if they did get with black women, the intentions were no more honorable. Of course, such desires are not so much race-specific as gender and 20-somethings making nearly 80k a year in NYC are most likely going to live it up, ESPECIALLY black folks since it still so rarely happens! My male friend feels that black women are just as guilty of discriminating though, complain about no good black men anywhere and thus, proceed to date outside of their race. For the sake of total disclosure and as you guys have seen above and in previous posts, I was in an interracial relationship for a little over a year. I fell in love, simple as that. I didn't swear off black men, I didn't seek out white men. Frankly I am very passive with dating and kinda take what I can get. Mike came to take and he got. No one else - white or black - was there to compete. Now someone could point out a black man wasn't around to pursue me but I could say I don't go out much, I'm not that friendly and I rarely can tell when a guy's hitting on me which are all true. So anyway, I'm interested to know how other people perceive my friend's above admission and in general, the state - or lack thereof - of black dating. Personally, I just think at the end of the day, this situation is hyped up more than it deserves, especially in an urban setting and especially when black love has never been a celebrated, acknowledged thing as much as black hate, violence, etc. For every black man or woman who say there are no good sistas or brothas, I can cite my close friends who are nearly all in serious relationships with a fellow negro. For one scene, there's another which I think is the way most generalizations play out. In popular culture, the black community is mostly perceived as full of conflict, especially between the genders. Its always we don't love each other, we can't find each other and it's hyped up by blacks and whites. And no one pays attention to the many black familes who do exist, the many black people in love with one another, the greatness of shows like The Cosby Show, Fresh Prince and currently The Bernie Mac and Chris Rock shows of today - for every Dennis Rodman and Wesley Snipes, there's a Denzel and Pauletta, Samuel and LaTanya and a Chris and Malaak.

PostScript: After reading this post, the unnamed friend in the AIM conversation would like me to make a few corrections and addendums:
1. Though I merely copied and pasted what he typed, he would like it mentioned that he never said he would never date black women, they are simply not his preference.
2. Because his mother is mixed and his father is mixed, he sees himself as mixed. But because both his parents share being black as well, he considers himself a "mixed black" person. Because his mother is "mixed black", he finds himself attracted to fellow "mixed black" women. When I asked if he also meant light-skinned "mixed black" women, he said yes; even though we both agreed that there are just as many dark-skinned "mixed black" women as there are light-skinned.
3. The Oedipus complex is mostly responsible for his attraction to light-skinned "mixed black" women as his mother is a light-skinned, curly haired "mixed black" woman.
4. Even though his mother, while "genetically mixed", identifies as black, the unnamed friend still finds himself attracted to the light-skinned" mixed black female type or, rather, "visibly mixed black women."
5. Though I explained to him that the rest of the post is a resulting conversation amongst my friends, he wants it known that he doesn't have anything against "black love" nor did he ever say that there are no good brothas or sistas.
6. He doesn't care what people who are of no use to him think or my friends or anyone else.
7. He had a "light-skinned mixed black" girlfriend in college (one who didn't identify as black) who he cheated on with me - a darker-skinned non-mixed black woman - and eventually stopped seeing me and continued on with her. She eventually dumped him.
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The post was followed up by comments from the poster's friends attacking this guy, Qxxxx, and accusing him of self hatred. My response: Who cares?!?!?!? He has the right to date whoever the hell he wants without having to answer to anybody. Relationships are one of the arenas in life in which you only have a responsibility to yourself to make sure that you are happy. I'm more concerend with the people who would waste their energy attacking this guy for his personal preference which really has no effect on them and shouldn't concern them. They accuse him of self hatred. I don't know this girl personally but, judging from this post and others on her blog, she seems to be guilty of overcompensation. More specificaly it's a condition that I percieve in some African Americans that I have nick named "black guilt". Basically, popular culture has created a situation in America where certain people in my genertation don't think they're having the true black experience if A: they're not from the hood or B: they're not always all worked up about racism. She falls into the B category. According to my friend Qxxxx, this girl will be "attending Harvard in the fall and her father drives a Mercedes". Nothing wrong with that but it doesn't match the description of black people in pop culture. It doesn't match up with what the rest of the world tells black people that we are "supposed" to be. Put simply, it's not celebrated. So she overcompensates for her insecurities by attacking him for essentially not being the "proper" kind of black person. I hope I'm explaining this clearly, but I'm at work and only half paying attention because I'm multi-tasking.

So anyway this blog is less of an attack on this girl for disrespecting my friend. And more an attack on the depiction of black people in pop culture and how it relates to black guilt. Let TV, movies, and music tell it and we're all thugs, pimps and drug dealers, we all live in the hood and our biggest aspiration is to some how make it out. This, of course, is ridiculous. While that is the case for some of us it certaintly isn't the case for all of us. But, to a young kid with an impressionable mind that is constantly bombarded with these images, it can create a standard which they feel they have to live up to. Especially if those images have been glamorized. This creates two problems: First it tells black kids in bad economic situations that they are where they're supposed to be and there's no reason for them to try to change their current circumstance. Second it tells kids in our middle and upper classes that their experiences as black people aren't valid because they haven't gone through any kind of economic struggle. And it can carry over into adulthood. At best, this situation creates people like this girl who are insecure about their "blackness" so they constantly decry the plight of black people in America and attack people like Qxxxx. At worst it creates people who try to live up (or in this case down) to the negative strereotypes they see on TV.

Bottom line we may not have created the circumstances that got us to this point. But it's time for us to start changing it. Perfect example, Jay-Z had a song on his Black album where he said a line: "I don't wear jerseys, I'm thirty plus. Give me a fresh pair of jeans and a button up." With that one line he made everybody stop wearing throwback jerseys and start wearing button up shirts. I use this example to say that teens and young adults listen to rappers. I understand that to get in the door they have to say whatever gets them airplay, which is usually thugging and drug dealing. But once a rapper reaches the popularity level of Jay-Z, where young people follow their lead, it's their responsibility to start making these changes. He could've taken this opportunity on his last album to say, "It's okay to be privelaged. It's okay to not be a thug. If you're in the hood you don't have to stay there. etc, etc." Instead he squandered a tremendous opportunity, when the whole world was listening, and just talked about the same shit.

That' all. Discuss, comment, ignore, whatever.

Read if u want to